Fresh Starts and New Beginnings featuring Matthias Williamson

     Merriam Webster defines “discipline” in several ways. However, the one that sticks out for me is: a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders.

     I’d been asked to write this blog post a good month ago and I found that I waited till the deadline and still nothing. I had just purchased a game that I’d remembered fondly from years ago and running around its world was way more satisfying that facing the page and writing drivel, or stringing words together that didn’t make sense. In fact, I’ve got three games that take me out of my non-creative mindset, and instead of using them as rewards for page counts or word counts – instead of believing in myself – I’d skip over where my writing has taken me in the past few months and just throw it all away.

     Then I stumbled upon Back in Black (athletic wear) by Z. A. Maxfield (ZAM). This blog post was about resolutions and how much ZAM hates them.

     I do too. And yet, I understand I need discipline in my life.

     I will be seriously honest with you – I am not going to be joining ZAM in running gear. I couldn’t even do one day of couch to 5k. I loved the pretty iPhone app, loved the thoughts of being able to move, but I really loved the comfort of the couch.

     For me, it’s going to be the small steps. It’s going to be getting down to kilt weight, where I can comfortably put on my Utilikilt. And I know that my writing will gain momentum. My mind is full of stories, of ideas that I know can be stories, but the only way that’ll ever get done is by putting my seat in the seat and writing.

     It’s canceling all distractions, It’s putting on a headset and blaring music in my ears, whether that music is a playlist I have put together that makes me think of the characters, or music that moves my mind in ways that it needs to be moved.

     This morning, I kicked discipline in the ass and I got up when my alarm went off: 5:58. I took care of morning duties, went to the Keurig and got my coffee started, went back and put my contact lenses in. Next thing I know I’ve got my mug in hand, I’m sitting at the desk and looking for writing buddies online.

     For me, discipline is making a commitment of #1k1h, and turning off all distractions when the time finally comes. The other night, I surprised myself, because I managed to pound out 20 pages and 3400 words in 3 hours. This came from just letting myself go. I’d set out to sit in a coffee house, but after purchasing a lackluster latte, sitting at the small table and setting up, I just didn’t feel comfortable. The mood in the room was off, there was no wifi (which was important, because I needed my spotify to work; I needed that music distraction). So I packed everything up and got in the car.

     Fifteen minutes later, I was at a local Barnes & Noble, and I went to the writing/reference section that I stop in every time I’m there. I looked at books, even picked one up to read, but then discipline hit me. As I walked back to the café, I dropped the book on a shelf and made a beeline for a table. It had finally sunk in for me: I wasn’t there to read another book that would tell me how to write the way that person writes. I was there to write the way I write, to put the words on paper the way I put them there.

     I put my book bag on a table at a long bench full of people at other tables, got my heavy cream latte, and started my work. I wasn’t certain whether I was going to edit the big story I had pitched to an editor on Saturday or start on something new. But as I put the headset in, my muse scrolled to a recently created playlist for a story that I’ve only talked about, and bam – words started showing up on the screen.

That’s not enough time.

     What did I find out about discipline? Well, by exercising just enough discipline to drop a book on a shelf, sit down, and start putting words on the page, I took over. By starting and just letting the words flow, I got rid of that internal editor – the critic, the muse, Bob “You’re Just A Fraud,” whatever you call that critical inner voice shut up and listened to the music.

     And I just wrote.

     I didn’t stop. I didn’t look up. The creative energy was all around me. The books, the studying, the writers, the drinkers of beverages - it all was there. I found myself cranking out word counts of 1346 and 1700 at the store. By the end of two hours of sitting on that hard wooden bench, three different families had sat on my left and two on my right. My coffee had long ago been drained.

     I had over thirteen pages done, but it was time to head home. I still had not finished my goal of writing 20 pages. I texted my husband and our visiting friend that I needed to finish writing at home.

     Could I perform the same as I had in the bookstore? Could I make this “hour of power” happen at home?

     I’m delighted to tell you that the answer was a resounding “yes.”      The voices in my head had much more to say, and I ended with 1727 words.

     4,773 words later and 20 pages, I had earned my reward. I played a game. Dinner was served to me at my computer so I could play.

     My muse follows rules.

     Do I understand discipline? Not one crazy bit. But I know now that if I sit in the seat, stop making resolutions and just write, the words will come.