Fresh Starts and New Beginnings featuring Wade Kelly

     When I was asked to write a post about new beginnings or fresh starts, I thought it would be easy. No problem, I thought. And then I had to think about it and come up with something interesting and original and that isn’t as easy as it sounded. I often think I’m boring and so this post may end up sounding like every other thing I say online. It isn’t my intention to be repetitive, I am just not all the interesting.

     I’ve had to make a few “fresh starts” over the past couple years and it isn’t always easy.

     Some may already know if you’ve followed my story that I was originally published in 2009 under a different name. That name is no longer linked to any published works, but in 2010 I had to abandon that name and become someone else or stop writing. That was a forced “new beginning” and one I did not enjoy. It was over the content of my writing and the beliefs of the church I was attending at the time. Having to change ones life is difficult enough when it is by choice, but having to conform out of demand is not pleasant at all.

     I tried to be what people wanted, and write what was “acceptable” except those were not the characters that my inner writer wanted to create. Out of that darker, depressing time of my life came a story about one young man’s suicide over his sexuality. Where did this theme come from? I can’t say other than God. I’ve always had a strange premonition type of life. I write things and afterwards meet people JUST like my characters. In this case, I finished writing When Love is Not Enough only weeks before a rash of suicides happened around the country over sexuality and bullying. I found it ironic and not pleasantly so.

     Because of that story, and the change I had to make in hiding who I was in order to keep writing, I feel I found a more meaningful call for my talent. If left along in 2010 I would have continued to write paranormal comedy. But life took a detour and I found a deeper need.

     In 2014 I faced the same challenge as different people in my “real life” discovered what I wrote and strongly disagreed. (Apparently not everyone can appreciate gay sex.) I was and am faced with making a fresh start or continuing on in my pursuits regardless of other people’s opinions and opposition.

     My stand is the same, I WILL make a fresh start, only this time it will be to live more open about what I write and believe. I hid much of my writing because I knew homosexuality is not overly accepted in my hometown. It is still controversial, even if more people are accepting of same-sex couples. I tend to be cautious. However, since the confrontations started in August of 2014, I have had to rethink my stand. This time I am not backing down.

     My “new beginning,” so to say, will be to speak up for myself in 2015 and tell people I write gay romance without shame. I was so worried about what people would think if they knew. There was a photo shared on Facebook that read, “If they knew I was straight would they still like me?” – said no teenager ever! My version was “If they knew I wrote gay romance, would they still like me?”

     I want to be authentic in 2015. I want to BE MYSELF and live my life openly and without shame. This is hard because there will be opposition and I don’t want my children to suffer because of me. What I can hope to do is teach them to take a stand for what is right. Human Rights should be equal. People have the right to live their lives the same as me. In the end, I hope my children would stand with me.